Thursday, 18 August 2011
...
I am incredibly awkward and negative. I get attached too easily, and I hold on for too long. I don't like opening up to people. Most five year old children can express their feelings better than me. I'm terrified of being hurt. I tend to act older than I am. I'm probably one of the most difficult people you will ever meet. But I can be sweet. I'm a great listener. I'll guard your secrets with my life. I will never judge you based on your mistakes, and I'll love you as much as I can. I can be, if you'll let me, one the best things in your life.
Monday, 15 August 2011
So, yeah...
Recently I've been getting comments from people saying how I am such a nice person. It really made me think am I as nice as I seem? Well, no, I'm not. The only reason they think I'm so nice is because they see what I want them to, and they don't really know me all that well.
While it is flattering, it's also slightly surreal to think that they see me as an entirely different person then what I am. People have commented saying they wish they could be more like me, and to that I have to say... No, you really don't.
I eat with my hands, I bite my nails, my hair is always getting in my face - and I like it that way. My room is pretty messy and filled with all sorts of junk that I can't let go, and I have to write things down to remember them.
But these are only little imperfections. I have much bigger ones too, that I choose to hide.
I'm a wishful thinker, and very much a dreamer. I am way over sensitive about everything, and I am self destructive, sometimes to the extreme. I have trouble making up my mind a lot of the time, and I end up asking others to decide for me. I am not at all comfortable in my own skin and I am very insecure about myself and my appearance. I have trust issues, because getting close to anyone scares me. I have done countless things that I have told myself I would never do. I over think everything and it just ends up making me even more confused than I already was, and it ends up getting me into trouble. A lot of the time I say things that I don't mean and I have lied to the people closest to me.
Everyone thinks that they're screwed up, but they just need to open their eyes, and see that everybody is screwed up in some way. But on the other hand, we are all awesome in our own way. It may just take some time, and other people telling us that, to make us see it.
While it is flattering, it's also slightly surreal to think that they see me as an entirely different person then what I am. People have commented saying they wish they could be more like me, and to that I have to say... No, you really don't.
I eat with my hands, I bite my nails, my hair is always getting in my face - and I like it that way. My room is pretty messy and filled with all sorts of junk that I can't let go, and I have to write things down to remember them.
But these are only little imperfections. I have much bigger ones too, that I choose to hide.
I'm a wishful thinker, and very much a dreamer. I am way over sensitive about everything, and I am self destructive, sometimes to the extreme. I have trouble making up my mind a lot of the time, and I end up asking others to decide for me. I am not at all comfortable in my own skin and I am very insecure about myself and my appearance. I have trust issues, because getting close to anyone scares me. I have done countless things that I have told myself I would never do. I over think everything and it just ends up making me even more confused than I already was, and it ends up getting me into trouble. A lot of the time I say things that I don't mean and I have lied to the people closest to me.
Everyone thinks that they're screwed up, but they just need to open their eyes, and see that everybody is screwed up in some way. But on the other hand, we are all awesome in our own way. It may just take some time, and other people telling us that, to make us see it.
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