Ghosts of Summers Past

Coming here always brings all the happy memories flooding back. It is so peaceful here, I'm instantly calm and relaxed. I let out a content sigh and perch on the pier. The ducks come closer, eager to check if their new visitor has any food for them. They soon leave when they discover this is not the case this time.

I let out another sigh as I prod at the water with a fallen twig from a nearby tree and watch ripples grow and disperse. I sit back and look up to see the sky burst forth into beautiful oranges, pinks and yellows as the sun begins to set.

A breeze blows across the surface of the water and more ripples appear, disturbing the stillness. the wind reaches the woods and the trees whisper to each other as if they are telling one another the secrets of their world. Birds begin to sing a sweet lullaby and somewhere in the distance and squirrel chatters away.

The breeze reaches me now. It blows around me and causes my loose hair to brush across my face, obscuring my view of this magical scene. I attempt to move it from my eyes but the wind blows harder, playing games with me. Soon after it dies down again and I can return my gaze on the treetops on the other side of the lake.

It's almost over now. The sky is a deep purple colour fading into navy. I close my eyes and relive previous times here. The memories of laughter, picnics, music, and art make me smile to myself reminiscently. Nostalgia grabs hold of me and I can almost see myself and my friends at the benches, gorging on junk food and joking around in the hot summers sun. I snap out of it as the ghost of a laugh hangs in the air, almost tangible.

I sigh once more. The sun has set now and all too soon it is time to leave. I glance over at my company for the evening, today was his first time here. I gesture that we should get going before all of the idiots and drunk people come out for the night and he smiles and nods at me. I pause and take one last, lingering look at the water. Then I grab my bag and we're on the road again, talking about nothing in particular.

The Truth

To be honest, I'm just hoping to die soon.

Paper Cranes

They say that when you get one thousand paper cranes you get a wish.

For a while now, I obsessively start making paper cranes when I get upset. It's almost as if I'm racing to reach a thousand so that I can wish for everything to be alright again. I've never reached it. I haven't even reached a thousand if you add my cumulative total. But one day I will.

And with that, I am off to get more paper to make more paper cranes.

Power Games

You have so much power over me, and you know exactly how to use it. You do use it, quite often in fact. But I don't think you know that you're doing it most of the time. And I know for sure that you have no idea how much it can hurt me when you do use it. There are so many times that you take advantage of your power and it feels like the lash of a whip.

I'm sensitive; over sensitive. And you can't seem to grasp that fact. I tell you I'm sensitive, and you'll calm it down slightly for a short while. But soon enough you're back to wielding your power again.

I feel like I can't ever say this to your face, because all you will do is deny it. You'll probably ask me to prove it by pointing out times that you have done so, even though you know when I'm put on the spot like that everything floats out of my head and I can't think of anything. If I did manage to come up with one you would probably deny it, and try to tell me that you weren't using your power. But the thing is the majority of the time you do it without realising.

You hurt me every single day with this power, yet I can't help but forgive you. You were the first person that I let into my real world. You were the first to know the real me. I fell hopelessly in love with you, and I couldn't help going against my rule of not letting anyone get too close. You know how attached and obsessive I get. I am so fragile, yet you continue to use your power to your advantage without knowing. You continue to hurt me without meaning to. You continue to make me weaker, and weaker, because I can't resist you.

I'm addicted.