Just a thought...

If you're lying in bed

wrapped up in sheets

of miserable thought,

Go to sleep.

If thumbing through old messages

only causes your heart to ache

and long for something unattainable,

Erase them.

If it hurts to keep

everything you're feeling

bottled up inside,

Let it out.

If you're clinging onto someone

that doesn't treat you like

you're worth the world,

Let them go.

Because sometimes

we choose to believe

that things are only

indistinguishable shades of gray

when in reality, 

life is more black and white

than it seems.

If you're unhappy

with the way

you are living your life,

Change it.

-- m.k.

Feelings

I hate how you make me feel. How I'm a contrasting and contorted mixture of happiness, fear, longing jealousy, loneliness, sadness, hope, delight, helplessness, and excitement all at once.

I am so confused and I feel so disgusted by myself for feeding these emotions at every opportunity I can. Because every time I see you it's just more fuel on the fire. And this fire is already white hot.

Crippling Fear

You consume my thoughts day and night. I want to stop thinking about you.
When I know that you're with friends I get insanely and immaturely jealous. I want to spend time with you.
I miss you constantly when I'm not with you. I wish I could stop noticing your absence.
I try to do things to impress you. I am so pathetic.
I try and tempt you to see me instead when I know that you have plans. It really hurts every time you refuse.
I do things I don't want to do in an attempt to keep you around. I'm scared I won't be enough without it.

I am so scared of all these feelings. I'm scared you will run from me in the end.