Men

want to fix you,
save you,
or fuck you.

I can't be fixed,
I don't care to be saved,
And I'm no easy fuck.

Intend to live, and love, happy.

“1. Kiss that cute boy at the party, but push him away as soon as he puts his hand up your skirt
2. Smoke a cigarette for the first time, and make it your last
3. Don’t straighten your hair for a week, see how many compliments you get
4. Blast your favourite song even when your mum has told you off for playing it too loudly. Enjoy those 3 minutes of pure happiness before she pulls the plug out.
5. Say yes to going out, you’ll have something to tell your grandchildren about
6. Paint a sun on a rainy day, then stick it to the window
7. Eat the cupcake, you have better things to worry about than those 300 calories
8. Do yoga and meditate as often as possible
9. Stand up for yourself. Someone called you a slut? Someone said you are ugly? Someone said your art work was boring and dull? That is your cue to fucking stand up for yourself and make them speechless
10. Don’t respond to a group of males whistling at you. You’re a human being, not a fucking dog
11. Leave your headphones at home, see how much you are missing out on because you’re always lost in your own thoughts
12. Carry hand sanitizer and bandaids in your purse
13. Wear sexy underwear, loads of leather, a fur coat, heels and purple lipstick. Do it for yourself, not for the hot guy next door.
14. If you’re having a bad day, cry, scream, punch a pillow, throw stuff around. Then you pick up the mess, including yourself and get back up.
15. Smile, be polite and get on peoples good sides for starters
16. Stop waiting for your crush, stop dressing up for the bar man that serves you a free drink or staying extra hours at work for your boss. Stop impressing these dickheads and start impressing yourself.
17. Laugh until you cry, and when the girl sitting next to you in class tells you to shut up, laugh even louder.
18. Do whatever feels right in the moment, laugh, cringe and regret it later. Repeat.”

—

insical

Island

Everyone seems so out of reach. I try to reach out to people but they're so far away from me. Why is everyone always so far away when I need them? I don't want to have to keep telling people that I'm sad, that I need their help, their support. For once I want them to be the one that notices and then reaches out to me. I don't want to have to broadcast it to others any more. I just want someone to pay enough attention to get there first.

Break

I decided that I needed a break from as much social media, and the internet and technology in general, as I can.

I am having a hard time. I'm depressed again. I'm pushing away people that care about me a again. I'm closing up on myself again.

I've deleted my Facebook. I never use Twitter anyway. I'm minimising my time spent on the internet. I will still come on here and update. And I will continue to update my Song of the Week page.

I need some time to myself to take care of personal matters. I need time to heal and to overcome my problems again.

Time is the best healer, so they say.

Wish me luck.

Addicted to You.

I'm addic-
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you


- Simple Plan

Smile

Just smile, please. I bet you look beautiful when you smile. Even more than you do normally I mean. Please, smile for me.
I want to know what it looks like. What it feels like to be someone who receives a smile from you.

Questions

I want to ask you why you climb over the fence instead of walking through the gap someone made in the wire for everyone to use. I am curious, but I don't know you. We've never spoken a word to one another, only exchanged a smile as we pass.

I want you to ask why I avoid climbing the fence. I want to tell you that I avoid it, because once I'm halfway through doing so, once I'm at the top and I have one leg over, straddling the top... I want to tell you that it makes me feel like I have one foot in the future, and one in the past. I have a moment at the top where I have to pause and remind my leg how to move, how to swing over the fence. I have to remember that I can let go of the past and swing into the future.

I'm not sure why, but I need you to know this.

SO Stupid

I need to stop thinking about you.
I know that you aren't going to be thinking of me.
I mean, come on, I'm nothing.
Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
You see that too, surely.
So why can I not tear my thoughts away from you?
Why can I not stop?
You won't be thinking of me.
You never will.
So I need to stop thinking of you.