Change

I don't think feelings change, nor people, I think situations do. I know that it's possible to dislike someone after loving them so much or to love someone after feeling so much hate towards them but, it's not because people change, it's because it's not the same. It's because something made you think differently, something opened your eyes. Something caused you to see everything the way it is at last. It's like days. Days can be cloudy, or days can be sunny. Days don't change, the weather does. And nothing can play a part in that or fix it, they can just let it be.

Farewell

Last night a man that was probably up there with the kindest people I will ever know died, and that man was my grandfather. Ten weeks ago he was taken into hospital after collapsing from severe pains in his lower back and abdomen. It turns out he had liver cancer. He was kept in hospital for a couple of weeks and he seemed to improve so the doctors let him home. Last week he started to go downhill again and the hospital set up a hospital bed in their front room because he couldn't get upstairs anymore. Monday he lost the use of his legs and became bed-bound. From there it went downhill until last night he finally felt he was ready to go.

Growing up I never particularly got on with my grandparents on my dad's side. But now that grandad is gone I feel like I should have been a nicer granddaughter to him. I somehow always thought that he would last forever. I suppose we're all like that until something happens...

Grandad, I'm sorry I left on Monday. But I know that I was of no use waiting around with everybody else, and quite frankly I was getting in the way. Also, I know that I would have been haunted by the way that you looked during your last day or so with us. I can only imagine what it was like from the updates dad was giving us, and that is haunting enough. I'm sure you will understand. Like you said as you clutched my hand while I said goodbye on Monday - "I'll see you when you come again, won't I?"
We're all going to miss Sir Roger the Dodger. I love you, see you on the other side old man.